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Book of Rememberance
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16v <folio 17r> 17v
or in these 2 or 3 yeres in these times my mother calling often to mee to read to her and somtimes when I hade bine at worke. I should therefore chuse* short *which I could say [with] afterwards by hart[e] my mother not seeing mee lieing upon her bed in the afternoons chapters* that I might have done the sooner. thereby I deceved my owne selfe in being too covteous of that which was not so good: but cheefely I crave pardon of \thee/ my God because of my unreverentnes \in/ doeing of thee service. I now taught my sister to worke. who thought she never loved it very well. yet now \[illeg]/ tooke better from me then any. afore. Likewise I learnt one of my mothers maids to "in this 2 or 3 yeres following almost hereing her twise or thrise in a day till she could read in the bible read" I tried divers but could not bring them to any perfection. but onely this one some discorriged me that hardly any olde body would learne. they having many bussnesses to set there heads a worke, which children have not, yet I stuck close to the teaching of one who was industerous to learne. and thereby profited. contrary to the expectation of or them some

my Granmother also in this time I or my mother wrot Word deleted between 'mother' and 'wrot'. [l]ace for an apron for my selfe now told my mother she thought she should not live long. my mother asked her if she desired to live. she said as pleases God. as I take it 2 or 3 mounth after this she fell sicke. which partly tooke her as an ague shaking. she continued about a or monthfortnight sicke my mother taking paines and care, for her as if she had bine her owne mother. and withall maketh mention of thy gifts my God (in her table Booke) praising thee = humble repentance and stronnge faith, her willing submitting her body and soule unto the hands of her mercifull God with her great patience and long suffering for her at last her spech one night began to fale. my father and mother with our selves askeing her blessing she gave it us. and though she was long weake living with very spare diet yet death strongly acted his part. that religious and holy soule being discharged from the prison of her body betimes in the next morning. which was the threescore and tenth yeere of her age, and the thirteenth yeere of mine. our minister Mr Baxter being very carfully with her came to comfort my father and mother. yet being ["swade?]over ruld with \the/ passion of affection. he brake forth (as he came) with those words which caused there sorrow. saying gon \is/ that worthy woman she is gon she is gon; my selfe then like a Child brake forth crying and vainely wishing she were living. long after this I was sorrowfull for her. the reason I suppose was a secret simpothise in *whereby I was like her and because of the true content I had with being with her nature* which caused me to grieve more then others and because she was witnes for mee at the font of my Baptisme therefore I thought she had the greater care and love to me and that I was the better for her goodnes or and gave me her namepraires my loss being the greater,

now in this yeere or 2 [\past/] a faintnes tooke me as soone as I "in a morning [for which] I eat bisket or som litle thing which I thinke did me no hurt was up". or a while after unlesse I prevented it with eating somewhat. but whether this be alwayes a signe of eating too letle or too much I know not as S Austine saith. /because\ it cannot now appeare or it is unsertaine what is sufficient for health therefore doth my unhappy soule rejoyce. and provide it thereby of a protection of excuse thinking to doe that for my health sake. when often times -is the service of pleasure so that lust knows not where Ne\ce/ssitie ends it 56

I am somtimes trobled with this infirmity now which I thinke to be winde because I doe not observe it so by my selfe in full weather; also I can partly ges by dayly observation what will suffice my owne nature, or is agree-able to it. yet the 13 yeere too often I yeeld to eate that for my tooths when my stomacke doth \not/ requier it I therefore crave parden \my God/ for that is past and desire thy assistiance for my amendement, divers times (after my Granmothers death) I feelt a -dulnes not onely now a mornings but somtimes afore supers too faintnes or coldnes of stomacke. for which to cheeresh my selfe I often eate wearme spone meate. but herein I find for a Book called the right course of preserving health by one I was deceived. for this proceeded not from defect of nutriment but from the abundance of ill humers, nature, being overburdened with ill juice and moisture I found this true by my selfe, for after this I was taken with a great fitt of the winde collicke being very the benefet for this is to eate litle and not to surcharge that which has too much afore, or dayly sicke and vomiting so that one which saw me said it might be as painfull as a womans travell. this continued with me about one day leaving me with gronuing: which was the worst fit that ever I remember I had in this kind after this I learnt the 103 psal saying it often to my selfe I now much [\more/] should I for and now for my brother many delive\r/ance praise the Lord. O my Soule: and all that is within me. praise his holy Name praise the Lord, O my Soule: and forget not all his benefite, which forgiveth all.

56. The quotation is from the Confessions, Book 10, Chapter 31, p. 644 in Watts .