And now Lord it was of thee which caused us to be * psal 68.6of one mind in an house*; for (contrary to expectation) my father so well liked of my Brothers and Sisters company. that he desired and they consorted to live with us. besids my Aunt Denton for most part of \[that?]/ the yeere continued with us. I confesse with praise to thee my God for the good company \[illeg]/ of these, also thou hadest fitted me that I might be a meanes and a member of unity amongst them. for thou hadest made it the rule of my actions to doe as I would be content to be don unto. \Mat 7.12 actes [12] 29/ and to and to have a good opinion even of those which were most contrary to my own disposition. as also I [find] [sins] in all even in them [which] are most [deare] unto me for whom I am most [inclined] to pray for shun as neere as I could both in words and actions all appearance of evill; \thes v. 22/ and tho to som it doth seeme a small matter to utter or disclose those words which might cause variance betwene party and party in great Families. yea tho there be those that carry them-selves (which I have knowne) with as little offence as might be yet I will not say what evill a body that is mischifiously intended may doe. but contrary to this thou gavest me the grace to make the best of things*. and to mind to have so much decretion that with the wisdome of the Serpent I might be innocent as the dove. \Mat 10.16/ I praise thee my God for the fruits of this union especially for the children which of thy mercie thou bestowest upon my Brother and which much rejoyced my father to see the Granchildren of his owne body. as it was also the joy of the whole family, and besides for my owne privat respect. I have found especially from my Brother this company profitable both for my Spirituall and temporall estate by many courtesies. but as there is no sertaine abiding here so friends must part. first my Aunt returned home. and after my Brother and Sister went to her by reason of the sicknesse so neere us. (I staying with my father being loth to leave him tho he put me to my owne chiose) this was a griefe to me to part with such friends. But I thought I will returne unto my rest for thou Lord hast bine in giving me here-tofore such content in a privat life be-nificiall unto mee. \psa 116.7/ Now as there was both time and place when there wanted not a tempter to assault me so have I found both time and place which was more free to serve thee. which otherwise would have bine fearfull and irksome unto me. but I found thy waies to make and placesall things pleasant and contented to me (and because the sicknesse being so neere us I must needs /forced to\ thinke of death. I found a that I may be [thine] and now not [our] [illeg.] [bent to have] the world now out of coveteounes of it to [stay] in it. but only for thy sake. carlessness in my selfe considering it. yet somtimes my flesh seemed partly to feare it. yet herein I found my refuge My God I desired not to live but to doe thee Service. not to die but to goe to thee. also another time I comforted my selfe besids som other [nots] which I also comforted my selfe with writing them out thus. I have observed in many things of this life we most fear those which are against nature. especially death which is the dissolution of it. But the Lord is my light and my Salvation. whom then shall I fear. the Lord is the strength of my life of whom shall I be afraid \psa 27.1/ and as for death it is but a sleepe and even in it I shalbe a yea for my comfort I know this my richs are in thy hand O Lord of [illeg.] that [receive] [delight of] thee this is for [lak] of faith for if I could [fermley] trust in thee All shall be well for death to [illeg.] [illeg.] 4.24 [illeg] and of all thes [as] [singers most merry] while he is looked upon with the eyes of faith [in the] Gospel. Yea I have found it hath helped me to the well disposeing and [illeg.] ordering of my life to that better knowledge of thee my God and my selfe. and [illeg.] conqueror. Death is swallowed up into victory cor 15.54 and so wee shall overcome in him who hath overcome for us all. yet for all this now [alate] being many times dulled with the fear of death. I have thought not to thinke of it. but that I suppose is not so good. I desire not to be so sencelesse but that I may be prepared for thee. by that way which thou hast ordained for all flesh. and I desire not to be so fearfull of it as to distrust thy power and goodnes towards me in it. whensoever it shall please thee to call me. seeing I have trusted in thee And now Lord what love have I unto thy Law. all the day long in my study in it \psa 119/ for since /when\ I began this \I/ found thy word to be better then gold. yea then much fine gold: sweeter also then hony and the honie combe psa \9.10/ for by this use which I have now made of it. I have found it farr Sweeter to me than ever (especially in the Psalms which have fitted me) but as Salomon saith by wisdome eate hony for it is good. and the hony combe for it is sweet unto thy mouth. So shall the knowledge of wisdome be unto thy soule if thou find it \pro 24.13.14/ so he saith in another place. If thou have found hony eate if that is sufficient for thee lest thou be over full; and vomit it \pro 25.15/ so have I found I was not able to continue much but it would be some prejudish to my bodyly health for begining [in winter] I thought to have don it afore [Ester] but I [found it farr otherwise] being about a yere and a half since I begun [it] but S Aust the vertue of good worke is perseveren[ce] ¹⁰³ and my God thou hast [quitt]ed me for this [and illeg.] [good workes] by the 3 [illeg.] trie it I will not [nowe] [doubt thy] blessing [upon] you being not able to doe much at once. but yet for the desire thereof. it so wholly tooke me up that I did nothing or very little besides and the longer I have perseverd in this I find my body the better /able\ to endure it. and I thinking to make an end quickly. yet many more things came into my mind which I thought would be profitable for me to doe. as also I thought to make use of my mothers writtings wherein I might find many good instructions for the bettering of my owne life (for me thinkes I enter in \to/ her very soule which tho her body be dead yet speaketh) and now I have found that which heretofore I should hardly have beleeved. yea and should \[illeg]/ have thought unpossible for me to doe this of all other; yea have I done many things which heretofore if it had bine tolde me I should have thought unpossible, till I have tried and used industry which thou \[illeg]/ hast Blessed and now that I should leave my worke which I soe well loved. in a maner altogether for this time. and should wholy bend to this but I saw it I would not goe forward so well unlesse I bent* my whole minde to doe it.