On Wednesday, October 19th after an intense training session and a meal at the Duck, the oldies and the freshers (including some who were bodies) hopped on the minibus to Birmingham University (with some also travelling by car), half an hour late due to traffic, or just by Andy’s “driving”. We frantically all got changed and began isolation, scoffing on our snacks and also carrying out the Warwick ritual of re-enacting More! Magazine’s ‘Sex Position of the week’ courtesy of Scott and Andy much to the dismay and confusion of on looking Birmingham lifesavers.

The first few teams went through to the pool to begin the incident. My team was captained by the ancient oldie Andy and included myself and two freshers Ed and Izwan. The incident got off to an interesting start when I absent mindedly dived into the pool (a big no-no!) and then grabbed the float off a drowning Kirsty in order to get to Dan and Laura who were making a lot of commotion the other side of the pool. There was also a burns victim and a heart attack victim, both of which were dealt with really well by the freshers. Our team managed to get everyone but Kirsty out of the water (she was just about to get out). Other teams approached the incident in a different way to us but probably the more correct way.

Following this, the speed events got underway starting with the ever exciting rope throw. The freshers put what they had learnt in training to good use with the majority of the teams getting at least 3 members in. After ropes we had a 4x50m Obstacles (Gates) relay which was also neck ‘n’ neck at times. The last event was the Swim tow (the version with the new rules thanks to old boy Alex) which was new for us all. All the teams did really well, especially the freshers considering this event is particularly exhausting!

Finally, after getting showered and changed both clubs proceeded to the upstairs cafe to enjoy a much deserved Jacket potato, beans & cheese and a pint (of water for some). Next came the results – thankfully we didn’t get last place! We were lucky enough to gain 3rd and 2nd place and cruelly the Birmingham announcer got the teams wrong causing Adam to get all excited thinking his team had come first only to find out that in fact his team actually came 7th and that Birmingham came first thus taking back the Trophy. Fed and fatigued we all went home, pleased to have got the competition over and done with and proud of our times and scores, though slightly disappointed we weren’t taking the trophy home with us.

And now for a video of Warwick C's Wet SERC:

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Slightly earlier than I’m sure we were used to we were up in good time and on the mini bus to Southampton. The usual napping of most people and second breakfast for me took place on the journey. After arriving in Southampton we got slung into isolation, the B and C team had decided to make their flags for the social later in isolation whilst I had decided to print off a rather naff looking flag for the A team. Sadly there was no sex position of the week as a certain someone decided not to come; I won’t mention any names... MEG! Team after team went off to face their certain doom in the SERC’s with the A teams left to last to apparently show the other teams how it is done, yeah I don’t know how either. After around 4 and a half hours of isolation it was the A teams turn!

So the Dry SERC was meant to be a 10k run that had gone badly at around 5.9km with a car crash. From what I remember dealing with there was an unconscious non-breathing adult, may I point out this was my first time doing CPR in a competition ever, which I like to think I dealt with well. Other than that near me was a guy with what seemed to be a broken arm, there was someone having a heart attack which Laura dealt with wonderfully, Adam dealt with someone with a bleed whilst talking to the person with a broken arm. Andrew went around trying to put everything together but sadly failed to treat someone having an asthma attack, silly Andrew!

Next onto the Wet SERC, actually I’d rather we didn’t speak of the Wet SERC it was pretty awful (sorry Dan). Well I guess I should mention it a little bit... It was some campsite style thing that had flooded, rather badly as there were tents at the bottom of the pool. I got sent over to someone who look unconscious from a distance but actually just had a tree fall on them and they were fine except the many broken bones. After a bit of shouting at Andrew an epileptic suddenly sprung out of nowhere in the water so off I went to keep their head above the water and then tow them into the side whilst definitely not getting dragging down by Jon... Other than that Adam went and got a radio and talked to some security type person, he then decided to have a little look in a tent at the bottom of the pool. Laura dealt with someone who had lost their husband; she then shortly after pulled a lovely BOB out of the water. I bet you have guessed it, that’s right it was her husband so Laura got onto CPR after the lady had a hissy fit about her dead husband. What I gathered from the B teams SERC video it went rather well, so yeah go have a look for yourself at the bottom of the page!

So, next were speeds. The C team put in good effort getting 3 people in, the B team just got all 4 people in just a few seconds before the whistle was blown and the A team somehow amazing got all our ropes out first time in a great time. Obstacles (gates) were next, all teams did rather well at this, I can’t really remember much of it but I’m sure we all swam real hard. The last and most dreaded event of the day was swim and tow; we were all very hungry at this point and just wanted to run off and eat, all that was going through my mind was: ‘Must get food, must get beer.’ So after what felt longer than the usual 100m swim and tow I ran off to the changing rooms to get changed then rush to get food.

The food was the choice of beef, chicken or veggie burger, I made the mistake of getting a pathetic chicken burger but the right choice of getting curly fries. After stuffing our faces we headed up to the social to get beverages and wait eagerly for results, the A team all had guesses at what position we would be, we were all a bit pessimistic about it strangely. So the announcement of results started; first Warwick team up was C in at 33rd place which was damn good going, next up was Warwick B in at 16th which is amazing, then we heard Warwick being mentioned at 7th place we were sure it was the A team but no it was the Old Boys and then double success struck when we got into medal position and came 3rd! The success for us didn’t stop there as the freshers team’s results were announced with Warwick B coming in 2nd, amazing results all around.

All of this called for some much needed beverages and dancing the night away to some music, including of course Baywatch in which I had to rudely stop conversation with my girlfriend to take my top off and swing it around, it’s the rules not being a bad boyfriend honest. After the social everyone went to sleep on a lovely hard and cold floor, whilst I got the luxury of my girlfriend’s double bed, oh man it was so comfy and the lay in that was awesome too.

Now time for a video of our Wet SERCs (Warwick A & B), featuring some lovely outtakes:

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With a tiny bit of a lay in, compared to an away competition, we arrived at Warwick University swimming pool to help organise the lovely troops of helpers and our rival clubs. The first few hours consisted of the difficult decision of whether we would have pepperoni or margherita pizza and trying to keep Mike smiling.

As we sat in isolation a guy in a Fez ordered us about and stuck a film on for us after numerous votes on which one it should be. However, after all the deliberation I’m still not quite sure what we watched but it did involve cars, fighting and women, which I have been reliably told is all that men need for a good film. Scott set about recruiting for his position of the week as Meg had kindly leant her magazine. However, it appeared that Birmingham were not up to the job and it fell on Nathan to be Scott’s partner. Once again the other teams looked on in shock as Scott and Nathan took centre stage. Then it was time for captains briefing and the normal was explained. As the captains returned both Warwick A team and Warwick old boys quickly made their plans.

With Warwick old boys out first so they could help Mike ferry us around the competition had begun. Omar set to work getting his C team trained up for all possible casualties using the time of isolation for some last minute practicing.

Warwick A team were called and led to the oh so familiar scene of a cinema set up in L3, would our plan work? Apparently I ignored the plan as I spoke to a judge first, whoops. Andy pointed out casualties to us in the right order and we set to work. The incident was busy and spacious and there appeared to be two unconscious and two breathing difficulties at first. One panic attack calmed and a choking recovered we moved on. The food from the choking was promptly given to a diabetic along with a fizzy drink (with all the sugar) from a bleed casualty. Slight grouping at one end took place whilst Andy dealt with the phone.

Next we walked over to the pool to begin our wet incident and were greeted by Alice bouncing around to set us up with the brief. As we walked into the incident we were met by Brittany helpfully getting in the way with a bag on her shoulder. Unfortunately we lost our fastest swimmer to CPR on the side as I spotted a breathing difficulty in the water. Annoyingly and predictably the inhaler was at the other end of the pool so off I went. Adam dealt with Meg who was one half of locked swimmers and took a while as they were told not to take an aid until it was right under them. I got out to find an inhaler, a lifeguard sitting on a torp bouy and a first aid kit. A little bit unsure what to do with all this equipment I failed to notice the lifeguard doing CPR wrong and attempted to swim off with everything held high in the water. Unusually it seemed it was time for Andy to get in and take control of the situation. Unfortunately we failed to help Ooi a drunk who had fallen into the river and another non-swimmer. That was our incident over and as we climbed out we hoped our other teams would fair better.

Next up were speeds and we hoped we would fair a bit better but pressure was on all teams to do well. Unfortunately despite good efforts C team only managed one rope and due to a few knots B team didn’t quite manage to get anyone in. A team were then in a heat with the old boys who promised to beat us. An amazing start from Andy, Scott and Adam left me mess up my first rope and the old boys beat us.

Next was manikin relay which lets say after all our hard work didn’t quite go Warwick’s way. The judges were mean and that is all that needs to be said. The swim tow was better with all swimmers putting in a good performance. Just as food was in sight a boat race was announced. This was the chance for a team to beat the old boys in one event for the day. No this was B team’s event as they stormed the 50m required and hurried off to get food.

As we arrived at the Union mostly all dressed up in a fireworks theme the pizza arrived. This time the wait for results was more tense as we all more correctly guessed our positions. Mike began reading out the results and C team came 20th, B team came 17th and A team came in at 6th position.

As the announcing finished the social could begin and five circles sprang up and we began to play various games. Although the biggest game of the night seemed to be stealing chairs. This gave teams chance to get to know each other and by the end of the night certain people appeared to know others better than expected. After we were appropriately merry the dancing began. Baywatch came on and the usual t-shirt flinging began. To those cool kids that stayed until the end the treat was another play of Baywatch and so off we went to our beds and some poor souls went off to the church to keep other teams company.

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After an encouraging first two competitions a group of weary lifesavers left the comfort of bed to travel down to Bristol for their first ever BULSCA competition. We had a relatively uneventful journey up until we hit Bristol at which point the directions provided by google maps decided to just remove a roundabout leading to general confusion, lostness and finally resorting to yours truly offering directions using a vague knowledge of Bristol and an very inaccurate iPhone. Luckily Brittany was in the back to save the day as we neared Bristol students union.

We were then greeted by a group of Bristol lifesavers who pointed to a car park with gates that were never designed to take a minibus meaning poor Andy had to drive directly across a road. With the help of several of us yelling, a lovely woman driver who didn’t understand when Andy made the sign for “stop, I’m going in there, wait just a minute” and yet more yelling the minibus was safely parked into a tiny space and we all proceeded into isolation.

Upon arrival in isolation we settled down and found a nice comfy section of floor only to be told that the mayor of Bristol was coming to visit. Quite why anyone would want to see a group of lifesaving students camping out on the floor during isolation I do not know. This presented certain problems with our usual isolation activities. Our running feature of the term, the enactment of sex position of the week, was deemed inappropriate to do in front of the mayor. So we resulted to casual discussion alongside the perusing of girly magazines.

We had two rather interesting incidents to deal with, the first consisting of a rather disastrous skate park incorporating a graffiti artist, a manager who suffers a heart attack, a guy who had a pole through his leg, and a couple of unconscious people. After some general screaming and yelling we walked out thinking we hadn’t had any major screw ups.

In the wet we had decided to go and investigate a noise in a quarry as any sane person would do and were greeted by the usual group of dying people. This time we were faced with a couple of struggling swimmers, an asthmatic who’s inhaler had been slyly stolen from our cupboard with anyone realising, an unconscious drunk person and someone who had foolishly stepped on glass. (There was also a body on the bottom but I’m going to pretend he didn’t exist as we didn’t manage to get to him) again after some yelling and a lot of screaming from myself we managed to rescue everyone we could have done and went into speeds feeling pretty good.

In the rope throw all 3 teams got everyone in! Unfortunately both B team and C team got disqualified but sometimes things happen! The medley resulted in the A team’s speed being put to shame as the C team managed to beat our time coming 4th overall. The swim tow was pretty standard and left all feeling hungry and tired but happy that whatever the results Warwick had had a pretty good day.

After some much needed food we moved into the social for results which were better than we could have hoped! C team came 11th overall after an amazing performance, the B team won the Wet Incident and managed to get 7th overall and the A team who won the dry incident managed to win the competition overall! Woop!

We then did some partying, drank too much and did Baywatch 3 times before heading back to our overnight accommodation. I won’t go any further into the overnight accommodation all that will be said is I am scared for life.

All in all we headed back to Warwick the next day feeling rather proud of ourselves and quietly hoping that Bristol never run a competition again so we can keep the trophy forever!

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On Sunday evening, a group of 8 of us met to go to the annual Christmas Splash competition held at Birmingham University. We fought through some incredibly busy trains to make it to Birmingham campus in perfect time.

The theme for the competition this year was “Under the Sea.” Warwick 1 took the fancy dress crown with their Little Mermaid team theme. Simon’s king was brilliant, with some very realistic long grey hair, Esther was a sparkly red Sebastian and Andy and Michael looked lovely as Ariel and the witch Ursula respectively. 2nd place in the fancy dress went to Warwick 2 with a SpongeBob theme (personally I think the most creative of the evening!). We had SpongeBob, Squidward, Partick and Mr Krabs.

That was the most important part of the competition over! I suppose I should tell you about the lifesaving as well. There were lots of silly races in the competition, including my favourite, a team boatrace. There were also ropes, swimming with clothes and two very long lengths of feet first sculling. Friedrich managed to hurt his foot, although it is a mystery quite how, and some very good bandaging skills were seen from the lifeguard!

When the races came to an end, it was time to get changed and then there was food and the raffle, which no one from Warwick won, although many people from Birmingham did…. FIX!

The results were announced, and the scores were very close. Warwick 1 came in third place, Warwick 2 in second place, unfortunately beaten by Birmingham by just one point! Then it was back on the train and we returned to Warwick.

A successful evening all round, well done everyone!

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Bright and early last weekend, three teams set off from Warwick for London. After an uneventful journey, with most of our minibus passengers snoozing away, Michael and I were dropped at ULU just in time for the BULSCA mid season meeting. Here we discussed and voted on important things like… the BULSCA naked calendar! Yup, you heard correctly… watch this space! Other than that, the meeting was reasonably uneventful with no major changes to competition rules.

Once everyone else had arrived at ULU it was time to get changed and sit in isolation. All our teams were out in the first half, so fortunately not long for anyone to wait around. The dry incident was set in an exercise class in the sports centre. It was incredibly busy; as we entered we were greeted by an unconscious casualty slumped against the wall, a pending feint, an asthmatic and an over-enthusiastic aerobics instructor. At the other end of the room in the building site (like there clearly is in every aerobics class!) was a crush victim, an unconscious casualty being electrocuted, and a choking casualty hiding in an area that was in fact marked as out of bounds on the incident briefing sheet (tut tut Mr Blandford :P ).

This was the first incident of the season where our lifesavers could die, and unfortunately the B team suffered a casualty as Izwan got electrocuted and spent most of two minutes having to sit in the corner facing the wall! With the dry incident over, and Izwan back from the dead, we continued downstairs to the pool. The wet incident was set in a pond, and there were bottles, plastic bags, shopping baskets and other rubbish in the pool! Amongst others, there was a swimmer who had lost his glasses (masterfully portrayed by Dan), one with two broken legs and a girl in the water worried about her lost dog. There were two BOBs and the B team managed to get their first BOB of the season off the bottom!

Overall there were some great results from everyone in the incidents; but most notably the C team pulling out an amazing 3rd place performance in the dry. Low’s treatment of the feinting casualty was described by Alex (who set the SERC) as perfect and one of the best of the day. Great job guys!

Then it was time to move onto the speeds. Except for an injured little finger, ropes as usual were very successful; 4 bodies in from the A and C teams, and the Bs so so close to getting their final casualty in.

We were all having a great time but now the part of the day we were all dreading… speeds in a 33metre pool! But we had nothing to fear, medley was great from all teams, and swim-tow was amazing with a perfect 1st place from the A team! Perhaps we should compete in a 33metre pool all the time as the A team can clearly perform well over this slightly longer distance… 3 length swim tows in training from now on everyone?!?

With swimming finished, we got changed into our most festive outfits and headed round the corner to the social. Low somehow managed to lose his shoes, but he was reunited with them after dinner when a very helpful London lifesaver found them! Thank you! Dinner was the same pizza as last year but with a whole one each there was more than enough to avoid the cardboard crusts! Results were announced after dinner; all top ten places for Warwick. The C team beat the B team, so their result counts towards the league this time. The A team got medals again with a strong 3rd place and the first BULSCA medal for their newest recruit Brittany. We were very pleased for our friends from St Andrews to come second, but not so pleased with another gold medal performance from Brum who are having a very successful season!

We danced and drunk until the early hours, with Meg pulling out the usual brilliant dance moves, and the standard three repeats of Baywatch. We all got taxis back to Suanne’s house and after a small bit of furniture rearranging in her living room we all had a very comfortable night’s sleep… even with Low’s impressive snores! Thank you Suanne for being so welcoming, and accommodating all of us, even putting up with a slightly drunkee Scott telling you all about his computer science coursework at 2am!

We left bright and early again on the Sunday to get back for Omar’s lacrosse game… blame him for the lack of sleep guys! It was an easy, uneventful drive home. The last competition of this term was over, and we all went home to have a relaxing lifesaving free Christmas.

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So on Saturday 28th January, Warwick Lifesaving crawled out their beds at a time that should not be seen on a Saturday. Especially for the few located in Leamington, except Omar who thought he would miss the U1, tut tut. The bus journey was different than normal, mainly due to everyone trying to go over their knots, except Laura who had to learn them all.

Arriving at Knottingham (see what I did there) we were directed over to a 'hut' for isolation, it was quite a nice hut actually, well I liked it at least. Sadly this competition we were let down by our standard gossip magazine 'position of the week', this week it was only a blowjob. It wasn't even worth a Warwick Lifesaving re-enactment, complete waste of paper. I found another source of entertainment that involved tying up a couple of Birmingham Lifesavers, Andy foolishly taught me a handcuff knot earlier on. Nathan managed to spot himself a Pokémon trainer and became rather lust-struck, more about this later! There was a rather sad, well for some happy, announcement that the knots bonus incident had been cancelled due to lack of judges.

On to the Dry SERC, Warwick B were out first shortly followed by the A team. We found ourselves going into a lodge whilst in some mountains (I think it was Snowdon), we walked in facing away from the incident and sat down. The whistle blew and we sprung up out of our seats, I ran off to try direct Andy to the bit of the incident that we had our back to. Two of the highest priorities where around there, a choking casualty and an unconscious non-breather. I treated the choking whilst Andy and Adam proceeded to take the cafe area apart to get the unconscious out of the chair. The choking went into a full blockage and recovered (yay), Adam was on CPR, Laura got tied up with all the after care and treating someone with angina. I got directed over to an unconscious that I put in the recovery position, then lastly over to a complicated open leg fracture and tried to treat the bleeding whilst the casualty tried their best to stop me. Andy got on the phone and did a nice job; luckily there wasn't an asthmatic for him not to treat this time.

Next up was the Wet. We walked in past Stu Ward in a cupboard who was greeted by Andy saying 'Hello phone.' We went in to find a selection of big water bottles, grabbing as many as we could each to drag them over to the entry and exit available at the pool where I pointed out to Andy a perry buoy. Andy quickly sent me to a breathing difficulty on the side of the pool that I had to get in the pool to get to, after treating I faffed a bit too much and then was sent to a weak swimmer nearby that would not swim in unless you found her child. I spent a good bit of time trying to scout out her child, then realised it was directly below me I went down and got the weak swimmer to swim in with me, 2 bird in 1 stone. I was pretty blind to the rest of the incident so I'm not sure what Laura and Adam dealt with but there was a boat with a first aid kit in, but the first aid kit was attached to the boat so you had to request items to get them. As i remember there was a non-swimmer, a head injury, an injured swimmer and two randomers in a boat (please correct me if I'm wrong, my memory is awful).

Onto my favourite thing of the day, SPEEDS! First up was the line throw, the most temperamental of all the events. The C team got 2 people in, B team got 3 people in and the A team heroically got everyone in with just 8 seconds to spare. Medley, oh Medley. So, Medley, everyone finished I don't know what else to say really. Erm, well done teams! And the killer that is Swim & Tow that signifies to me that it is nearly dinner and beer time, everyone put in a solid effort and left themselves barely breathing, which I consider the right amount of effort.

Now was what I was most looking forward to, that of course that was the food! Sadly it was rather late but when arrived it was acceptable and after getting a lovely extra pizza I was full. We were moved from our little hut to the social venue for results. First of the Warwick teams announced was the C at 13th place, a solid effort especially from Omar who got roped into captaining last minute. Next was the B in 10th place which was the 2nd highest B team of the day. So lastly was the A team, as the team names rolled out we were wondering where we could of placed, relief struck when we heard Birmingham A come in 5th place meaning that we would at least now be drawing at the top of the league with them. Then it left us and St. Andrews, in 2nd place was... St. Andrews, meaning the A team grab another gold for the medal collection!

With the great results this meant only one thing, to dance the night away with the aid of the Baywatch theme and alcohol. Adam done his usual best of making a fool of himself, this time was particularly hilarious, involving his girlfriend and setting off her rape alarm, I'll leave it at that. Nathan got his eyes back on a Pokémon trainer but despite all the embarrassment I tried to force upon the situation nothing happened, luckily for Nathan I have better plans for Birmingham Competition. Simon managed to get himself a lovely man and a massage in the toilets; clearly the ladies aren't the only ones after him. Before I forget, Adam Martin, you owe me a beer!

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